Christmas

Merry Christmas!

On Christmas eve Phil, Rosie and I brought hot chocolates and snacks, and drove around Peterborough looking at Christmas lights. We also drove out into the countryside a little to peek at a house we might rent. :S

Since Rosie is so young, did presents on Christmas morning this year.... I got a couple of presents and called them "From Micah" for Phil's dad, and for Phil <3 This is the last Christmas we will spend without knowing our son! :D so nice to think of that.

I miss my family and friends a lot.

Rosie charmed everyone at a big family gathering in Pickering, she was such a trooper. Got some great pix of her dressed in her Indian outfit that Aunty Elly gave her last Christmas.... gotta put some on FB.

Of course, I missed like a thousand great photo ops throughout the day, cuz I was too lazy to have the camera out, but it's OK, we have a more intimate family do happening on Wednesday. We'll take our Christmas family picture then, along with a whole bunch of cute Rosie and Dani pictures!

I'm sitting and watching my belly shiver as Micah kicks and stretches, he's such a sweetheart. I don't know if I've gotten more used to his movement and notice it less, or if he's calmed down some in the last month. I remember feeling him all the time when I first could, but lately it seems like he's pretty laid back. Nothing to worry about, he still has bursts of energy and is awake at relatively predictable times of day, but he's not he crazy gymnast he once was. I guess getting older and heavier will do that to ya, sure did it to me! ;)

Looking forward to in 2012:

SETTING UP MY OWN HOUSE!
Holding my son
Fostering
Getting a kitten
Having some chickens/ducks/quail for eggs and eating
Having some rabbits for eating
maybe *MAYBE* (still undecided) getting a dog if the perfect one comes up for free at the perfect time. Rosie would love that so much! *I wants a beagle!
Whatever God brings, in His time, in His way.... it'll be awesome to see!

SPD

I seem to be having lots of pelvic pain.... it feels like it did in the last few weeks with Rosie, only worse. I could hardly walk last night, although there was good reason for that. lol.

Yesterday I went for a walk with Rosie to the play group, and while there did a lot of crouching, sitting on the floor, and sitting on small chairs. Then in the afternoon I met up with a lady in the walmart parking lot (from the Peterborough Buy and Sell groups) to buy some Marble Works for later. I'd forgotten to bring money, of course, so I ended up grabbing Rosie and running into Walmart... it took forever to get to a till cuz it was so busy, and I didn't dare put her down, cuz she'd take off or take things from the shelves, so it felt like I was carrying her for 1/2 hour. I think it was actually about 15 minutes.

Then we stopped at the dollar store to get a toy for Rosie's cousin for Christmas. I had to park far away, but Rosie walked in holding my hand so it wasn't a big deal.

After getting the toy and wandering through the store a little with Rosie in the buggy, we headed to the till. Once in line I realized I had no purse. :S We left the toy near the shelf, put the buggy back, and headed for the car. Rosie walked there, but I carried her back once we had the purse so it would be faster. Waited in line (she stood very well with me, thank God) and when we got to the till I realized my wallet was out of my purse, and actually back in the car.

This time I carried Rosie both ways (she was crying by now cuz we had to leave the toys behind again) and we finally bought them. Me being me, I had to stop at a nearby thrift store, but Rose did well walking, so we were OK.

I got home, a little sore, but didn't think much of it. After sitting for dinner though, I could hardly stand, and hardly walk. It sucked!

I've done a little research, and there's a condition called SPD (Symphysis pubis dysfunction) that affects up to 25% of pregnant women at least a little... it seems I'm developing that... *sigh*... have to stop carrying my little one... that'll be hard, I love carting her around with me!

Also, some say it's worse if your baby's bigger, so I'm wondering if Micah's big already.... Rosie wasn't very big at birth, so it'll be interesting to see the difference.

I'm so excited for this little guy, but there's still over 3 months to go... hoping I won't spend them in excruciating pain!

Doctor's visit 24 wks

My doctor here is hilarious. I'm sure a lot of other people would hate him, but it actually makes me feel empowered. lol.

I'll explain. I've been to see him three times now. No single visit has lasted more than 5 minutes. I think today's visit was about 2 1/2, maybe 3 minutes.

He doesn't say much, he's to the point, and he does nothing extraneous. For instance, my other pregnant visits to a doctor usually started with some vague and casual chitchat, they would use the little wheel thingy to confirm my timing, and then ask me how I was feeling. Then, they'd listen to the baby, watching the clock while timing the heartbeat, and I think it took almost a full minute each time. Generally afterwards they'd say a few more things, or we'd wrap up a conversation, they would tell me what the heartbeat was at and what it means for me, as well as mention that I had good Blood Pressure (which was generally taken before the heartbeat... left that part out) then they'd ask if I had any questions, appearing quite interested, and leave with a couple more casual statements.

Our visit today:

Dr. walks in, asks how I'm feeling. I say good. He takes my BP, I make conversation (I'd heard he was called to a delivery last night) he returns it in a relatively friendly, but disinterested manner without elaborating. As soon as the BP is done he asks me to lie down, and listens to the heartbeat for what seems to be 10-20 seconds, mumbles a number, says "good" and tells me to see him in 4 weeks, and that I should get the form from the secretary to have my blood tests, and that should happen in 3 weeks. Pauses briefly at the door, "Any questions?" Gives me a smile, and leaves.

2, maybe 3 minutes tops.

Why does this make me feel empowered/liberated? I explained it to Phil on our way home from our first appointment, when he was wondering why I didn't want to find another Dr who was more personable or at least more interested in his profession. (First of all, don't get me wrong, this Dr. is a very nice man. He smiles, he answers any question I have, it's just everything is fast fast fast.)

I feel liberated cuz I don't feel that I owe him anything. If he wants me to be induced and I don't want to, I feel like I can say no. He hasn't taken much interest, so I don't have to feel guilty not following his advice... if that makes any sense at all.

Well, whether it does or doesn't, it works for me :)

so, I guess all is good. I gained 3 1/2 or 4 pounds, according to the scale. I'm kinda relieved to see my first weight gain... altho I don't want it to go crazy.

Micah is healthy, and I'll see my dr. (briefly) in 4 weeks time. lol.

Christmas is coming

I decorated the tree last night. I'd put it up a few days ago while Rosie was napping.... it's always a sound practice to leave the tree up un-decorated until I discover how the kid and the cat are planning to interact with it. Rosie was completely uninterested, although now the decorations and lights have caught her eye. However, so far this morning she's been obedient to the "look don't touch" rule, and I made sure to put most of her favorites out of her reach. For instance, I have a gingerbread cookie made from fun foam that a student gave me last year, Rosie insisted on biting it the moment she saw it, so it's not even on the tree, just to make things easier.

There's something soothing to my soul to be sitting beside a lit Christmas tree. Surprisingly, decorating it was very difficult. I didn't know why at the time, but looking back I know it's because this is the first tree I've done without my friends or family. Phil was on the couch on the computer, so I guess family was there, but for the last few years I've been blessed to share Christmas with those most dear to me. The set-up always happened with my roommates, and last year we had Christmas in Campbell River with my mom and brothers.

I know there will be dear times here, and the people here are dear to me, if less traditionally so than my own family and friends.... but I'm guessing that missing the others was my reason for feeling so blue throughout the decorating process.

Something funny happened yesterday... I was walking and one of the floorboards in the living room cracked under me..... all I could think was "Micah, your momma's so fat...."

The funny thing is I still don't know if I've gained any weight yet... but I think I have. lol. The floorboards sure seem to think so. I have an appointment on Tuesday, so we'll see then how we've been progressing. My belly sure is big! I have to get Phil to take a belly shot of me later. Micah's grown like a weed! 24 weeks today.

and almost Christmas! Still no snow, highs of 9 and 5, etc... they keep saying "December will be full of snow, but not yet." Boasters. So far this winter has been exactly like BC. Phil was saying "At least we don't miss the weather!"

Boo. I wanted snow.

food, snow and hope.

I don't know what's going on with me and food lately. I don't have any interest in cooking, I always feel hungry, but I never actually want to eat any of the food that's around.

I wonder if I've gained any weight yet... I've been the same exact weight with every check up, but I feel like I've been eating more lately. I should be interested in food, I know I'm hungry! But what I really want is to go out for dinner.

Today is the second snow, Rosie was actually outside for the flakes falling this time :) It seems to be sticking for the moment, but I don't think it'll last yet. We've been decorating for Christmas already, and I've been looking at the first ornaments we got, back when we were thinking of having kids. They are three little stockings, One a little different from the others. Rosie has the first one, and the other two are still waiting. I'm going to give another to Micah. The third.... I think it's my hope. When I was first pregnant and sick, Phil said he never wanted another pregnancy. It would be too hard on us.

I can live with that, but part of me doesn't want to. I don't want this to be the last time I feel a baby kicking inside me, and I don't want this to be the last name I give to a child. I know I'll love other children, I'll hold other babies, whether for months or years, but I do want one more of my own. I do want another pregnancy. Secretly I'd hoped this would be twins... then it would be OK for me to stop.

Oh well, there's on little stocking, holding on hope for me.

tired...

Well, we just finished having Rosie's second birthday party, and having a visit from Martine. She's Phil's sister who's been living in Japan for the past few years.

The birthday party went very well, it was tea-party themed, and I made a nice moist chocolate cake with gooey cookies-n-cream pudding and whipped-cream icing. However, Micah still doesn't like it when I eat too many sweets, so I ended up with a bit of a tummy ache last night.

Sleeping is becoming increasingly uncomfortable, and I'm beginning to think that he'll be waking me up at night with his kicking pretty soon. That's something that Rosie never did... he's definitely an active one. Right now it feels like he's turning somersaults inside me!

Martine's visit was awesome, although it illustrated to me how tired I am and how little I get done. She's just like Phil, never stops moving. lol. I'm not like that naturally, and this kid saps my energy like crazy, so I'm always exhausted lately.

However, it was awesome watching Phil with his little nephew, Noah. Plus, I kept thinking what a great pair Noah and Micah are going to make... even their names work well together! It's so awesome that the cousins are going to have others around their age... I always felt a little alone, age-wise, in my cousin group.

I am so ready for my little guy! It's crazy to think I still have 4 months to wait. 23 weeks yesterday! :D

I'm tired.

Nesting and thinking...

I'm so into nesting right now! Since we don't have our own place, it can be a little tough at times... but I've tidied Mina's living room and put a bunch of photos up on her near-the-ceiling shelf, and if I get the energy I can't wait to go through all her kitchen cupboards and help weed out the things she does and doesn't use, her cupboards are pretty small, so everything's pretty crammed.

Also, I've been picking things up for Micah everytime I go to a thrift store.... I have a whole bunch of cute little cargo pants and cool looking T shirts... I found a onesie that has Packman on it and says "Eating Machine".... Plus, one of Phil's Uncles just came by with a whole bunch of donated baby clothes that I went through and I've now got lots of stuff for him! Not quite as much as I had for Rose, but almost there. I've been having a great time sorting through, separating what he'll wear from 0-6 months and what he'll be using 9-12 months, and I even have 1/2 a box of stuff for 12m - 3 years.

Today is Rose's 2nd birthday. She'll be a big sister in 4 1/2 months. Sometimes I'm a little nervous, because this is almost exactly the age difference between Ben and I, and things weren't always sunshine and roses there... I'd hoped they'd be a little closer together. However, I think it has a lot more to do with personality than with positioning, and a girl as the oldest will change the equation again. Plus, if things turn out between them as adults the way they've turned out for Ben and I, then I've got nothing to worry about. I'm definitely blessed with my brother now, even though it wasn't always that way, and I'm sure he'd say the same about me :)

It's crazy to imagine my children growing up together... they're going to have such a different childhood than we had! Not just different situations, but the technology available.... I saw a commercial last night that made me want to cry. Mobigo is basically an iphone for kids, except without the communication capabilities. It's a touch-screen gaming system with coloring options and puzzles and picture taking.... What happened to interacting with the real world? They called touch-screen coloring ART??? I'm sorry, but no.

never.

Uh uh.

I want my kids to live their lives, and use technology. Not to live technology and avoid their lives.

Sorry Micah, Rosie, you guys are going to hate me, but there will be limits on screen time in my house. And I'm not buying you a thing. Uncle Ben and I researched and purchased our first game systems at 10 and 12 years old, you'll be just fine doing that as well.

Mean Mom Alert.

Introspection

I've been wondering lately if it's going to be harder raising a boy than a girl... I always used to think it would be easier, but I've considered two of the main reasons why I always thought that, and I've come to see that they are actually deceptive.

1. Boys don't get pregnant (this was directly from the mouth of my father, when I asked why parents were more protective of girls than of boys)

2. Boys are less dramatic than girls

First: Pregnancy

In response to boys not getting pregnant, I've decided it is much worse from a parental aspect that they can get other people pregnant. Consider this, a young girl has a LOT to lose if she becomes pregnant. She has at least 9 months of her life completely altered, and possibly the rest of it as well. There is a huge deterrent for girls to be careful with the whole getting-pregnant thing. Boys, on the other hand, don't have that natural consequence. Sure, if they care about the girl they will stick around, and the rest of their life could be affected too, but what happens if it was a short relationship? Say it's over even before the pregnancy comes into the picture? Worst case scenario, as far as he's concerned, his life doesn't have to change at all.

Now I know that a lot of that is already ruled out by a loving, nurturing upbringing. Hopefully without me making any special effort over and above basic parenting, my son would have more consideration and care than to live out that worst-case-scenario. However, it will take special effort and conscientious attention to teach my son the honor and respect I want him to have for women, and for children. I suppose I'm falling into the trap of believing that boys naturally feel less love and empathy toward others, which I'm sure in my head isn't true... but sometimes I wonder. Can I instill enough empathy into my son(s), enough respect for honor and righteousness? They have a great example in their father, but between the two of us I know I'll be doing a lot of the talking. I'm just praying God will provide me the words, and that He will guide my boys through the situations that I'm sure they'll never tell me they are in.

Next: less drama.

K, first of all I already know this isn't exactly true... one of my younger brothers had plenty of drama throughout his elementary-school friendships. However, if I think back, that's because his friends were all girls.

The reason that boys being less dramatic in general is actually a scary thing for me, can be seen in the movie "Cheaper by the dozen". I'm not planning to have 12 kids, I'm not exactly that crazy, but I have firsthand experience, being from a family of 6 kids for a while, that you don't have to have 12 kids for some stuff to fall through the cracks. If you remember in that movie there was a little redheaded boy who was quietly miserable and lonely in the middle of his busy, bustling family. In the end, he ran away from home and the family realized how upset he'd been and rallied around him and it was all good and happy, blah blah, family values. But that's not the real world. Sometimes if you miss a critical moment of emotion, or of need, you can't get it back. Not every slight can be covered by an outpouring of love that comes too late.

What if my less expressive boy is in pain, deep pain, and I miss it? I don't want my little guy to be scarred because I'm too caught up in life, and he's too quiet for me to hear above the noise. I do want a big family, and I know that there are always some consequences to the kids, along with some benefits, but I'm praying and praying that somehow the consequences won't be lastingly painful. I think if I work hard enough at relationship with each child, boys or girls, hopefully I won't miss anything big, but boys being inexpressive at times is definitely a detriment to be overcome in a large family.

All my life I've wanted to be a mother, and not just because I think babies are cute. I want to be a mother because I truly believe that God has given me a calling for it, and that there is important work I can do as a mother. I want to be a mother so that I can raise up my children in love and righteousness, so that lives will be blessed through them.

It's exciting, and so scary. I'm only human, I can't be perfect, but I want to be perfect for my babies. I want to be perfect for the teenagers I see in their futures, the one I sometimes glimpse in Rosie's face. I don't want to be perfect without making any mistakes, but perfect in that the mistakes I make will be examples to them of how to handle mistakes. I want my mistakes to teach them to forgive when they need to forgive me, and teach them to be human and strive to be their best with good attitudes, but not to give up when they mess up.

I just don't want my mistakes to harm them. And that's what's so scary, how easily that can happen. Jesus, be the healer, hold my children close when I can't, wipe away the tears that I miss, whisper into their hearts the words that I fail to say, or that come out wrong.

Hello Micah!

So we got to see our son today! He was incredibly active through the entire ultrasound, putting the energy he drains from me to good use I suppose.

I am so thrilled! I can't stop grinning when I think of him. I would have been this thrilled about a girl too, I'm pretty sure, but man am I excited for this little guy! I know it's silly, but I get to call him by name for the next few months..... it's so great!

Originally I was having trouble choosing between Rijk (pronounced Rike) and Regent, one of my dad's middle names, but Rijk is a family name on my mom's side, and it has more meaning I think. I kind of feel like Rosalie is already a tribute to my dad, since he loved yellow roses and she is a Rose whose birthstone is yellow. I don't know if I'll have another baby, and I don't want to miss the opportunity to use Rijk. It was my mom's father's name, and it's also a middle name for one of my cousins.

I'm going to have a son! Micah Lawrence Rijk Duprey. I couldn't be happier!!!

Hello baby! We'll see you!

I couldn't sleep last night I was so excited! We get to see the baby for the first time today, my first (and only) ultrasound! We'll even get to know the sex, if *he* decides to cooperate.

Phil and I talked late into the night, he was saying he'd rather have the surprise because he loved how with Rosie it was so exciting, to be surprised. I thought about why I want to know this time, and there are two reasons. I suppose one reason is that I wasn't really of sound mind when Rosie came into the world, and my joy was kinda suppressed by the fact that I was puking and couldn't move anything below my neck. It's all kinda surreal still, when I think back. I think because of that I want to know more abut my baby when I have the time/energy to enjoy it, when I have the physical capability to jump up and down and get excited.

Another reason is that with Rosie, I knew it was a girl. I mean, I always knew it was a 50/50 chance and I could totally, definitely be wrong, but somewhere inside I just knew. I knew her name was Rosalie, and I knew she was a girl.

This time I just have the strongest feeling it's a boy, but I keep wondering if I'm right, and I'd love to know whether I'm right or not ASAP. I guess because I'm a little more confident in myself and my intuition this time.... I really want to know if I'm correct or if I'm crazy!

I told Phil I'd learn and keep it a secret, but we both laughed at that. I can't seem to keep secrets from him well at all. I'm good with like, surprises, but not secrets that he knows I know. Apparently there's something about me being like an open book, and not able to control my outbursts of emotion when I'm excited about something....

So the countdown begins. Ultrasound at 11:10 our time, 8:10 BC time, 9:10 Alberta time, 10:10 Manitoba time, and I'm not sure what time in Japan, but that should cover most of anyone who'd keeping up with this :) (if anyone is)

I'm just so excited!

First post from Ontario

This pregnancy has been completely different from my last in both type and circumstance.

Unfortunately, that means I haven't been blogging as much due to circumstance, and partly to type as well.

As far as the type of pregnancy, this baby hasn't bothered me with nausea (except occasionally when I'm hungry) since the first trimester. That means that I went through many days only occasionally aware of my pregnancy, when I'd give my baby a secret smile, and move on. Thus, I neglected my blogging. Also, I realized I completely lost track of my weekly progress at one point! I'd recently told a friend I was around 14 weeks, then I sat down to count and realized I was actually at 17 weeks. I'd been wondering why I felt so big. :S Now, unless I'm mistaken, I'm around 19 weeks, and can't wait to have an ultrasound! And can feel the baby kicking lots! I'm getting ahead of myself.

OK, circumstance. Glaring, huge, almost impossible to ignore, circumstance. Phil, Rosie, baby and I drove across Canada. In a large, overloaded van. With Cyarra, our cat. Without a good camera, cuz we can't find where we packed the charger for our new Fuji.

It was epic. There were towering mountains shrouded in mist, purple after a night of rainfall. There were great vistas of fall colors, and an ocean of gently rolling prairie. A night of camping in the rain, and a 1/2 hour trip on a "range road" in Alberta cuz I missed my turn..... range roads by the way are winding, washboard, unpaved roads through the middle of beautiful, never-ending fields of nowhere, with the occasional small ranch, pond, or even tree.

However, the moments of beauty, and the little mishaps that make the trip, were eclipsed by the opportunities we had to spend time with people who I hadn't seen in far too long. That was amazing. From Katimavik family to childhood friends I was blessed to recreate some precious connections.

We arrived in Ontario, had a few days with family, and then Rose was sick and we were in the hospital with her for four days. Phil took one of the nights so I could have a good sleep, but I admit, though we've been home for two days already, I still don't quite feel rested.

That's one thing about this pregnancy, I always feel bone-tired. I keep wondering if this kid is going to emerge with all the energy in the world, because ?he? seems to be taking it from me in droves!

I'd say overall, the best thing about this pregnancy and about this trip, and the last few months in general, is I've felt a much deeper connection with my creator. Whether it's been singing while I worked on Cortes to get through my nausea, praying desperately that I could find a place I'd only visited once before when the GPS was lost, or just standing with my hand on my belly and feeling the breeze on my face, so far God and I have been pretty tight. I'm praying this is an indication of the relationship my baby will have with ?his? God. It sure has been good.

I know this is a long post, so I'll end with some exciting updates.

I started feeling the baby flutter at 17.5 weeks or so, I think because I was sitting down driving all the time, and my belly was all squished. I was definitely sure of what I was feeling by week 18, and the other night Phil felt some flutters under his hand! :D :D There's actually a little person inside me! (extra exciting cuz I haven't heard a heartbeat or anything yet, stupid unavailable doctors)

I have an OBGYN here to take me through my pregnancy! It took some looking, but I've got an appointment for the 25th, and I'm praying we'll have an ultrasound really soon after that, and if the baby decides to cooperate, we'll know that it is! :D:D I'm totally excited to start calling ?him? by name with assurance. We didn't know with Rosie, so it'll be nice to experience it both ways. IF the baby cooperates.

funny poems and reflections

Warning: The following verses may be considered vulgar by most readers. Sometimes I have strange ideas, and I usually put them into practice, as I have done here, against the specific advice of my cautious husband, who insists that this will come back and haunt me in some future job search or professional relationship.

I thought about it, and decided that if the future boss of my future self can’t laugh, then I’m better off without him/her.

An Ode to Pregnant women’s pee.

What used to be a mighty river flowing out of me,

Reduced to just a tiny trickle, a pregnant woman’s pee.

I sit, ashamed that I ran so fast into the public stall,

When the women that I passed out-pass me, one and all.

That’s not the worst, this inconvenience is greater than it seems,

For you see it goes to the extent of disturbing my sweet dreams!

When once I could sleep through the night and let loose when I woke,

I now am up, oft twice or thrice; I bear a heavy yolk.

Oh bladder, bladder, once my friend, I cannot understand,

Your job, the storage you supplied, I really was a fan!

I know this child is pressing down and growing ever longer,

But bladder, won’t you help me out, and get a little stronger?

It seems that bathrooms are my fate, which might not seem so grim,

But I am at their mercy, where and whatever state they’re in.

So as I travel through these months, do your best to think of me,

Stoic, going from room to room to satisfy a pregnant woman’s pee.

12 weeks along now, I’m approaching my second trimester, only a week to go! The days feel so long, but when I look back it’s hard to believe how much time has passed. March 26 seemed so far away, but now I'm thinking it may not be after all.

I’m showing quite a bit, and I have a doctor’s appointment on Tuesday the 13^th (Hopefully I can leech some internet and post before then!)

I’m still working often, but not crazy like I was at first. It’s only two hours here and there, sometimes twice in one day, but that’s the most I’m doing. My nausea was lifting, until the heat wave came in. Now it’s back, but I think it’s still milder than before, Praise God! I haven’t actually thrown up once with this pregnancy, which is a miracle in itself. Even on Friday, when I got my license and Rosie didn’t nap and it was VERY hot and probably the most stressful day I’ve had in a long time, I kept down the delicious roast my mom made, and didn’t even throw up on the ferry.

It’s the small victories that keep my heart light!

I helped Phil with a job on Sunday, even mowed a bit of the lawn. Another small victory, I hardly felt sick afterwards! The property we are working on is quite dilapidated, with long grass that hides lots of vicious rocks. Rose spent the time taking old ropes and using them as very long necklaces, and climbing around in the van pretending to drive it. She was afraid of the long grass at first, but I made a game of taking big steps into it, and she got along alright after that.

My daughter is currently in love with books. She always has had a special fondness for them, but now it seems like every time we turn around she’s reading, or asking us to read for her. She often reads the books upside down, but I think maybe they are more interesting like that.

I keep wondering how I’ll react if I have a little boy who hates reading, or even a little girl. It just seems more likely with a boy though… anyway, I hope that I’ll handle it well, and encourage him/her without pushing too hard. I just have such a hard time imagining life, especially childhood, without stories.

Well, we are beginning to look to the end of our time on Cortes, and the beginning of an incredible journey. I’m leaving so many pieces of my heart behind, it’s hard to knit the excitement I feel for a new adventure with the losses I know I’ll carry with me. One thing that helps is I’ve been reminding Phil lately that we have barely lived 10% of our productive adult lives, and imagine what the other 90% will bring.

For me, I’m anticipating tearful partings, a new baby, and equally if not surpassingly joyful reunions with dear friends after times apart. And that’s all still within the first 10%!

Just imagine what the next 90% will bring.

Another Duprey Baby!

Phil and I haven't been avoiding conception for over a year now. From July 12, 2010 till now I've been holding my breath about once a month, hoping. There have been a few lates and some feeling sick and being late, but after a year, I managed to convince myself that the nausea was all in my head.

So, when I began feeling nauseous around July 20th or so, I calmly counted back to when my last period was, told myself I was probably crazy, and wrote on the calendar to go and see the doctor on August 10, and no earlier.

One week later, I was beginning to think like I was pregnant, and I was kicking myself for it. It was hard not to. Each morning I woke up feeling like I'd already worked for a day, and like I was on the edge of a stomach-initiated-disaster.

Those feelings persisted for another week, so I headed into the doctor on Monday August 8, unsure, expecting another no.

It was a yes!

I almost couldn't believe it. So conditioned at this point to think it wasn't really going to happen.

Being on Cortes, I've been working a lot, and haven't had internet. This, combined with the fact that I went to work immediately after my doctor's appointment, and that week worked some exhausting 8 hour shifts meant that I neglected to call some people who I definitely should have.

If you are reading this, and you are one of the people I should have called right away, but didn't, please let me apologize! I don't have a good excuse, I can only assure you that I do love you and I didn't deliberately slight you. I made a couple of calls, but for my friends who only have cell phones I didn't want to incur long distance charges, and so I thought I would get on the internet, and then I proceeded to get a bunch of extra work and be so incredibly exhausted, and by the end of the next week I'd forgotten who exactly I had called and who I hadn't.

A quote by Ashleigh Brilliant : "I'm sorry for neglecting you. My life often forces me to neglect many good things!"

I've known for three weeks already, and as happy as I was to find out, and as I am to be pregnant, it has been a LONG 3 weeks. I was sick for 2 weeks before I learned the wonderful reason why, and it's only gotten worse. The good news: I can eat! The bad news: I wake up in the morning and it feels like I've spent the night wrestling with the little angel growing inside me, and a host of his/her friends.

Basically, I'm back to being sick and tired of being sick and tired. :P However, I am also aglow with excitement.

Scary note: I'm 10 weeks today, and already showing. Is this some sort of second-pregnancy-effect, or am I carrying twins? (Hey, a girl can dream!)