My Son

Micah Lawrence Rijk Duprey was born March 28th at 4am. He was 7 lbs, 14 oz and 20 inches long, with a full head of dark hair and his daddy's long toes.

After 14 hours of early stage labour (easy contractions) we went into my OB for my scheduled appointment. I shocked the receptionist when I told her that I was in labour, apparently I was the first. lol. The doctor stripped my membranes, told me Micah was low, and then I should probably go to the hospital. I wanted to try going home, so I did... and got back-to-back contractions everytime I stood up. Apparently the hospital was a good idea. A quick shower, a quick drive, and I was sitting in labour and delivery having them tell me my contractions were too far apart (of course, I was sitting down, doofus!) and that I should go home.

yeah right.

I got up, had a contraction. Walked to the door, had another contraction. Lyndele and Phil agreed that we should stay at the hospital and walk for a while, then try again. We dropped our stuff at the Information desk, and did just that, walking the halls for 45 minutes, until I threw up just past the elevators, and was left unable to talk with back-to-back contractions for over 5 minutes. This time they kept us in L&D. I remember feeling proud that I'd proven to them I was actually having contractions. lol. I was like "the puke on the floor, that's proof, right?" I'm sure Lyndele was laughing as she humored me and said yes.

I knew I was getting tired by then, because I was finding it harder and harder to crack lame jokes. I managed a few between contractions when the nurses were asking me questions, but my endurance was basically gone, and I realized that the loss of my ridiculous sense of humour was an indication of that.

I asked for an epidural at that point, 20 hours and counting, and I was spent. The Dr was busy in a C section, so he couldn't approve it, then they took the wrong bloodwork so they had to redo it, and 2 hours later I got my epidural. Phil and Lyndele were exhausted as well, and I don't blame them! My heroes.

Lyndele was there for every contraction, holding my hands and supporting me, talking me through it. Laughing at my lame jokes, and even making a couple of her own.

Phil had spent the day at home with me, and he cleaned the house and raked the yard, talked with me and reassured me that he didn't mind missing work.

they were amazing.

We all slept for 4 hours, then I felt some increased pressure, and we decided it was time to push. Phil was woken up halfway through (I was getting irritated that he was allowed to snore while I was working so hard, lol!) and the two of us found that we were better at this stuff than we'd thought! I am apparently quite good at pushing, (I've always been pushy...) and Phil was actually fascinated by the process of birth, and even took some cringe-worthy pictures that I would have killed him for, if I was aware at the time.

They had me do some precision pushing while waiting for the dr. to get there, one of the nurses protested that she was not ready to catch my baby! lol, and then out he came, no problem. It actually took only a little urging from the dr. and Phil cut the chord! I was able to have my boy on my chest immediately after he was born, and he actually nursed within 10 minutes as well! it was awesome... such a contrast from my last experience. Such a miracle.

Some observations that made me smile:

- I laboured for 25 hours, with one hour of pushing. Total of 26, but I get to involve my favorite number, 25.

- Micah was born on the 28th, Rosie on the 18th... maybe that means we won't have a third ourselves, cuz there is no 38th. lol.

- Micah is exactly one lb heavier than Rosie, but the same length.

- I only gained 13 pounds this pregnancy.

As for taking my little guy home, unfortunately the first night was maybe the worst experience it could have been. If not for Phil's parents, we couldn't have gotten through it. Rosie was coughing and struggling to breath and she threw up all over and had a strong fever.... the fever broke around 3am and she finally settled around 4:40. Phil's parents did most of the work early in the night, while I was settling Micah, and then I did some up and downs.... I was sitting on the floor in the bathroom around 3:00am changing a screaming newborn and listening to my 2yr old terrorizing her nana upstairs and I looked in the mirror at my pale, slightly green face and wondered idly if I was going to collapse....

but other than that morbidly fatalistic moment, we got through the night. I slept for around 3 1/2 hours, then another couple in the morning after I was sure Rosie was OK. I'm still feeling really really crappy, which makes sense, and Rosie is refusing to nap, so I don't want to either... I feel I owe her and Nana as much of my time as I can, the last few days haven't been easy on them... and I wanted to get this done... Micah's been an angel though, sleeping lots and eating lots and pooping lots, just like he should be.

Here's to new beginnings, and to them starting tomorrow. I think we'll just scratch out last night.

WHAT? practically ON TIME? Whose son are you anyway?

The date went really well, we ended up skipping dessert after our supper to spend some time with family who had come out to visit Phil's parents, Phil had a second supper (don't know how he does that!) and we headed to the Hunger Games.... Very well done adaptation! I totally approve. Rosie was spending the night at Nana's house, so we got to head straight home and fall asleep early, cuz we're lame, but it was very nice.

until 2:09am.... was that a contraction? 2:13am.... can't be another? 2:17am... definitely a contraction, but only about 35 seconds long, so nothing serious... and it continued.

I got up around 3am cuz I couldn't sleep, they were varying between 4 and 7 minutes apart, no longer than 40 seconds. I took a shower, then took a bath for a while. The contractions slowed down so I went back to bed, leaving the tub full just in case I wanted to use it again soonish.

I spent an hour or so catching like 20 min of sleep between most contractions, then Phil and I spent a bit of time watching TV shows cuz I couldn't sleep anymore. Then it happened.

Funniest thing ever.

I get up to pee around 6:30 or so and Scamp (our big, fuzzy grey cat) comes with me. He notices the water in the tub and looks down curiously, sniffing it. Then he puts out a paw, can't reach it. Foolishly reaches out with both paws.

You guessed it. Cat in the tub. He bounds and hits the wall once, then the second time successfully bounds out of the tub amidst much splashing of water and scrabbling of claws, disappearing down the hallway.

Poor Phil is trying to figure out what's happened, cuz I'm laughing so hard I can't answer him....... it was great!

anyway, long story short I suppose I've officially been in labour for 10 hours or so now, still intermittent contractions. Rosie's happily ensconced with Phil's parents, and nothing seems to be happening with any speed as far as Micah's concerned. Phil pointed out that of course HIS son would want to be on time, and I had to admit that was true. However, he's not in a rush about it, that's for sure. Some contractions I hardly notice, and others I can't talk through. Sometimes they come back to back, and then I get nothing for 15 minutes... it's all very mysterious. *sigh*

Here goes nothing, let's see how long this takes.

Another D Day!

Today is Micah's Due Date! And the little critter has been bugging me with some Braxton Hicks, three yesterday, and a few today I think... nothing painful though, so I'm pretty sure he's taking his time. Today is also a D day cuz I have some big D's to talk about.... (no, I won't be discussing breastfeeding, and yes, I know I'm lame)

D1 - Doula! I had a great chat with Lyndele, who's going to be my Doula! She inspired me to write up a birth plan and has had some great suggestions about it, and I'm feeling awesome that there will be someone impartial there to help Phil feel more comfortable about the whole thing. I feel like we clicked right off the bat, she seems quirky and fun, so I'm quite looking forward to having her involved. At the very least I'm sure we'll have some laughs, and she'll make the whole experience that much more pleasant.

D2 - Driving. Driving in Ontario (well, at least, being insured to drive) is much more complicated than driving in BC. I need to get the car safety tested and then emissions tested, then I have to take the results to the government to get the car certified, then I have to take the certification to insurance to get the car insured, then I have to take the insurance back to the government to get the car plated and licensed. Plus insurance here for me is double what it was back home. *sigh* suckage. Never thought I'd miss ICBC.

so the big green van didn't pass the safety or the E-test, and it'll cost a heckuva lot to get it up to standard... lots of little things, and then whatever is up with the emissions.. so I'm looking into getting a *new* van. However, I'm also considering driving the green one back home this summer instead of flying, since it would actually save us money (I need to get seats for Rosie as well as myself) ... we'll see what mom says.

D3 - Date night. Tonight Phil and I are going on a date. I have 2 for 1 coupons to a burrito place, 2 for 1 tickets to a movie, and a free latte at a local dessert shop, so I'll be pulling all the stops! :) lol. Date-night Dutch style! I'm dropping Rosie off with the in-laws, then going to pick up Phil. We'll be parking downtown and walking together to the burrito place, then the dessert place, then the movies... we're gonna see "Hunger Games" which I read just over a year ago and really loved, not knowing they would make it into a movie. Totally psyched.

D4 - Micah's Due Date. It's hard to believe it's finally here, but at the same time I Feel like no time has passed since I found out I was pregant... this one's gone by so quickly! probably in no small way due to the changes we've been going through this year, there hasn't been much time to dwell on my state. Phil started talking to Micah more this week, we've been talking about Phil as a father and Micah's imminent arrival, and I think I've managed to calm some of Phil's fears... it's funny how raising a son has brought out so many fears in him... thank God all kids start out as babies, and how easy is it to love babies? ;) By the time Micah's really a "son", Phil will know him so well it'll just be raising Micah, not some boy.

Delighted, Delicious, Delirious.... I get to meet my boy soon!

Of Doulas, decisions, and countdowns.

So we are only one week away from Micah's due date! He's definitely dropped, although I'm not sure when that happened exactly. lol. I just noticed yesterday that his bum is most certainly below my belly button now, when it used to be above. He's been carrying a little higher than Rosie did throughout, but I kinda figured that meant he's gonna be bigger. We'll see, I suppose. I'm so excited to hold him!

One week and counting.... it's a countdown to the due date, then we begin counting back up days overdue... lol, seems backwards... maybe I should do the countdown to the two-week mark when they'll wanna induce me. That way he'll hopefully show up before the countdown is over, and there'll be no need to count back up! :)

Tomorrow I'm meeting with a lady who'd in training to be a doula. She posted on one of my FB groups that she wanted to be involved with a birth, and I figured what they hey.

As I typed that I realized I'm not really sure what a doula does, so I googled it. I suppose she'd be there to talk to me/help me through labour and delivery, and support me with visits etc.. post birth.... it's interesting, we'll have to chat tomorrow, because I'd kinda been thinking of being alone through most of the labour this time. I'm more comfortable with the idea of being in pain alone, especially pain coupled with anticipation. One thing I distinctly remember from last time is wishing all the nurses would just go away. That, combined with the fact that I don't really remember who was with me other than Aunty Joan getting me ice-cubes so I'd have something to throw up...

with all that, I was thinking it might be better for me to just hang out in the bathtub upstairs, or pace the hallway etc... while I'm doing the whole early stages of labour thing, maybe go for a walk or something. I'd have Phil nearby, but I was thinking it would be pretty chill and peaceful for me to just have some Micah and me time....

of course, I don't know how realistic any of that is, since I don't know what labour's gonna be like this time without the oxytocin (please GOD!)

anyway, so my thought process is, would I be setting her up to hang around and feel unnecessary? Do I want someone walking through this with me? Do I want her walking through this with me? I suppose those questions can't really be answered until we meet tomorrow.... and I suppose some of them could be conditional. IE: if I call as I go into the hospital cuz I'm far enough along, and she's free, then it'll be green light... if she's busy no worries, or if things go too fast then whatever... I dunno.

I should talk to Phil, having her there might at least take some stress off of him, and I can tell them both how I want things to go, so they'll have some backup communicating with doctors and nurses and everything, since there will be two of them. Maybe she'll at least make his life easier.

Oh well, I'll chat with her tomorrow, and we'll see

Nearing the end...

Micah will be arriving soon.... it seems surreal. I had my first Braxton Hicks this morning while driving Phil to work, my body seems to be preparing itself.

Everything else isn't quite as organized, however. Micah's carseat is still in the basement, I don't have a hospital bag ready yet, or an overnight(s) bag for Rosie to take to Nana's.

However, it is my plan to do these things this weekend, just in case. I truly don't believe he'll be coming before his due date, and I'm actually fairly confident he'll wait for a good bit afterward... (I've made a date with Phil to go and see The Hunger Games the night he's due...) but I'm not certain enough to buy the tickets ahead of time. lol.

One thing I'm pretty sure of, he'll be bigger than Rosie was. It's going to be interesting to track his development, comparing it to Rosie's growth charts and all that. A long time ago I looked at the growth charts for Ben and I and realized that, had I been 2 years his senior, Ben would have been the same size as me by the time he was three years old and I was five. After that, he would have steadily surpassed me, hitting six feet at 12 while I (theoretically at 14) would still have been 5'9 or so.

I'm interested to see if Micah will eclipse Rosie in growth, which actually would be pretty amazing because she's always been almost off the charts, size-wise, when compared to other kids her age.

I'm excited about it, although part of me knows it's not something I'd wish on him... being bigger than other kids often brings an awkwardness which, combined with increased expectations from adults, can lead to some self-consciousness that I'd rather he be spared...

However, I can't help but be proud of spawning a race of giants. Just waiting for Ben's kids now; together, our offspring will take over the world.

My bets are that Micah's gonna be around 8lbs, maybe a little more. That said, I missed my last doctor's visit, and am already due for another which I didn't book, which means I haven't been weighed in about a month, so I don't know how much weight I've gained. I really need to book an appointment for this week! The hours are just inconvenient, and the answering machine doesn't record messages. *sigh* gotta get on that stuff, my due date's only 10 days away.

I am the master of my destiny....

No wonder I'm going nowhere.

lol

I keep thinking of everything I'll get done, and then the days go by and nothing happens.... I can't only blame my darling son, I have this tendency without pregnancy, it's just so much more conveniently inconvenient to do things right now.... if I stand for too long, I get sore. If I bend over too much, I get sore. If I sit on the ground (say, instead of bending over to organize shelves etc...) you guessed it, I get sore.

Convenient that it's so inconvenient to get things done, so conveniently I get to spend much of my time hanging out with my lovely daughter, and being on the laptop when she's in bed.... Oh, the bed gets made, the floors get swept, and I even cook. A bit, but often the dishes aren't done and the things I'd meant to do are lying in shambles in the living room when Phil gets home at midnight.

I'm not feeling so guilty about it though... I just tell myself I'll be better when he's here, and my body is my own part-time again (other than cow-on-call duties).

However, this might be my not-so-subtle way of procrastinating, again-still, and putting off whipping myself into a routine. I do want to be an organized, efficient stay-at-home mom.... if only it didn't take so much work. Couldn't I do it sitting down?

Derailed by Jordan... and beginnings and endings

OK, it's not an excuse at all, but the reason I've been so bad about updating? Robert Jordan.

Yes, I just finished reading 13 of the longest fantasy books ever written. I embarked on this journey near the middle of January. It hasn't been nonstop, I was frustrated for a few weeks while waiting for the other people using the Peterborough Library to get their slow butts in gear, then I circumvented them by downloading a couple and reading them on the computer, thus jumping ahead and finishing the last 6 books one after another over the past 3 weeks.

Am I proud of myself? A little. These books are freaking huge, and I've meant to restart and finish the series in one fell swoop since I read the first 8 books on Katimavik....

However, I am only a little proud. While consumed in reading I've managed to neglect many of the daily tasks I'd promised Phil I would accomplish, as well as falling out of touch with my friends... my Rosie-free time was caught up in reading the series.

Plus, the biggest slap in the face? There's another book that's not coming out till January of 2013. I STILL haven't finished the series, although I closed the thirteenth book just 20 minutes ago.

What does this have to do with Micah and my pregnancy? Well, this has been the biggest distraction from the whole thing, I think.... it's like I awoke from a stupor today and realized that in somewhere between 3 and 5 weeks I'll be holding my son...

Another thing I realized is that I'm going to miss him! Not the bloated feeling and the sharp pain of my pelvic region stretching, or hobbling like an old woman, or not being able to eat like I want to, always feeling hungry until suddenly I feel OVERFULL and then I'm hungry again an hour later (an hour of feeling bloated and tight like a cow I once saw who'd eaten too much clover and died from the gas...) I won't miss any of that.

But feeling him twitch and kick, and yes sometimes even clobber my abdominal muscles from the inside so that I want to yell or try to push him back into place.... (my side is NOT meant to stretch like that! My ribs are NOT your plaything! and why do I feel like that unfortunate person in Alien???)

I'll miss even that! I'm gonna miss his hiccups, and his twists and turns, and I'm going to miss standing and singing in church with my hands on my belly, feeling closer to God because I've got my own miracle...

Logically I know I'm going to be able to hold him and watch him sleep and dress him and clean up those sticky black poos and introduce him to and protect him from Rosie, and I know this is the beginning of actually getting to know the man that God has sent for Phil and I to raise... This is such a beginning! But there's song that says every beginning is some other beginning's end... and I've always felt that keenly.

Especially since we are undecided as to whether this will be my last pregnancy, but I suspect it may... We are looking for God to expand our family, but it may well be that His expansions will no longer require my physical incubation...

so while I rejoice in the immanent arrival of yet another male to whom my heartstrings will be hopelessly bound(as if I don't have enough brothers and dear friends who already hold me, not to mention Phil) I can't help but feel the bite of losing the intimacy, and the mystery that pregnancy represents.

If there is a next time, I think I'll let it remain even more mysterious, not just to have something more to look forward to on that day (I actually feel more comfortable not adding reasons to want to rush him out... trying to avoid the allure of induction this time) but because mystery is an inherent part of pregnancy, and it's a thrilling one.

I suppose I can even see the thrill in not knowing if this will be my last pregnancy or not.... there's always going to be a question mark on the horizon, until God, or Phil's bravery, takes it off for good. I do love a good question mark. What's a road without any bends? Driving in the prairies was so much more fun in the dark.

Maybe I'm coming to another end, but the road still goes on just past the headlights... and who knows? The adventure continues.... Ironically, the Wheel of Time books continue as well.... We'll see where we are in January of 2013, shall we?

Updating (finally)

It's been a while, I was hit with some post-Christmas blues and retreated from the world a bit. :S

Rosie is so excited about Micah, she's started talking about him throughout the day. She calls him "baby Mihnga" and has asked for bedtime stories about him. She puts both her hands on my belly now to feel him move, but she doesn't have a lot of patience for it.

I went to a prenatal visit two weeks ago, and I'd gained 11 pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight. I was excited, but also a little nervous, figured now that I'm starting to gain weight it might go crazy.

However, went to a visit on Monday and I was 5 lbs down again.... so overall weight gain for my first two trimesters this pregnancy: 6lbs. The doctor didn't seem concerned... he mumbled something about the baby growing right on schedule and hightailed it out of the office. I was in the middle of asking about the weight gain, and about the size of the baby, but he didn't seem to really hear me. lol. He didn't even have any other patients waiting, and he'd just gotten back from the hospital, so he wasn't on his way anywhere.

I will have absolutely no compunctions telling him where to go if I don't want to listen to his advice at the end of my term :) It's a good feeling. If I have another pregnancy in Peterborough I think I'll go with him again, depending on how the birth goes. I like this hands-off, no conversation approach.

Actually, funniest thing.... I knew he'd just gotten back from the hospital, and I wanted to make some small talk, so I said "Women still having babies?" as he took my blood pressure. His response "Yup, you're not special."

HA

it was so funny, I almost burst out laughing.... how many doctors, or people in general would say that to a pregnant woman? Esp when that's pretty much the only thing they say during the entire visit, besides "your glucose was OK" and "136" which I can only assume referred to Micah's heartbeat.

this guy is priceless.

Micah does feel big though, I think one of the reasons I'm not gaining weight is that he leaves very little space in my stomach for food, and with the heartburn I'm not disposed to eating very frequently. I'm happy though, except for the ever-present exhaustion and pelvic pain, and Micah is dancing happily and frequently, at times on my bladder.

He also loves music, since he's been waking up to jam with Rosie and I to Grooveshark and the radio... so far he seems to like Bedouin Soundclash-style the best... light funky beats and that sort.

He's gonna be adorable, I love him so much already... even when he's "testing the fences" and feels like he's doing his best to push and claw his way out of my stomach from the top. lol. Can't wait to meet my son!

Found a song for Phil and Micah earlier.

Little Guy by Gord Bramford

You came into this world, in the blink of an eye
Well man how time really flies
You made me smile, and as a tear fell from my eye
You lit the room up little guy,
It was the best day of my life

Now I’ll laugh with you, cry with you
Let my love surround you
And I’ll dance with you, pray for you
And wrap my arms around you when you cry
Little Guy

Cause I’m gonna be the best dad that I can
I’ll take you by those little hands
And when you stumble, I’ll pick you right up
I’ll be your number one fan
And watch you grow into a man

Now I’ll laugh with you, cry with you
Let my love surround you
And I’ll dance with you, pray for you
And wrap my arms around you when you cry
Little Guy

You’re gonna grow older, wiser
You’re gonna chase your dreams
And one day raise a family
And you’ll know just what I mean
Son you mean the world to me

Now I’ll laugh with you, cry with you
Let my love surround you
And I’ll dance with you, pray for you
And wrap my arms around you when you cry
Little Guy
I’m so glad you’re mine,
Little Guy